The Fade Read online

  “Yes, honey, I know. You were right and I was wrong and you can tell me every day for the rest of our lives.” He looks at me. “Our very long lives.” They stumble toward the door and he fiddles with the lock.

  “Keep the incense.” He opens the door and they jog down the stairs, leaving me alone in the cloyingly sweet smell of my room.

  THAT NIGHT I can’t sleep. I just lie in bed, my lamp on, staring at the gruesome picture I drew. That I drew and don’t remember. I want to take it down, but what would that accomplish? Would the ghost just make me draw it again? Is it Kaitlyn? Does the ring connect me to her?

  Josh was right. I shouldn’t even be here. But where would I go? My parents already know I don’t want to live in this house. Maybe I could convince them to send me away to stay with relatives….

  Who am I kidding? They would never do that. As for telling them the truth, they’ll think I’m crazy. Mom still has contacts in the mental health world. I’d get great treatment.

  There’s a knock on my window and I jolt out of bed. I’m ready to run downstairs and out of the house when a familiar voice whisper-shouts, “Haley, let me in!”

  I yank aside the curtain. The lamplight glares on the glass, but I can just make out the tips of Coop’s frosted hair. I reach out and pop the window lock, opening it just a crack.

  “What the hell?” I whisper.

  Coop pulls the window up and pushes himself through the opening.

  “Why are you here?”

  He shushes me. “You’ll wake your parents.”

  “Maybe I should,” I say as he stumbles into my room, landing on my bed. He laughs and pushes himself up.

  “Did you need something?” I ask, and he looks me up and down. I’m painfully aware of how short my pajama shorts are, how thin my tank.

  “I want plenty of things,” he says quietly, “but mostly I just wanted to see you.”

  “It’s one a.m.,” I tell him, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

  He shrugs. “I couldn’t sleep. And I saw your light on and then the tree outside your window, so I put two and two together….”

  “And that equaled climbing up the tree to my window? In the middle of the night?” I shake my head in disbelief.

  He stares at me. “I was going to come over yesterday, but I saw you already had company.”

  His eyes move past me to the wall. He stands and walks quickly toward me, and before I can run away, he grabs my arm.

  “Did you draw this?”

  I nod, too shocked to even break free.

  “Why did you draw this, Haley?”

  “I honestly don’t know,” I say quietly. “It’s Kaitlyn, isn’t it?” I say.

  “It’s not Kaitlyn.” He lowers himself to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest.

  I kneel beside him. “Then who is it?” I ask.

  “It’s my sister.” His voice is barely a whisper. “Emily.”

  I process what he just said. “Your sister was one of the girls who went missing?” Everything clicks into place. “One of the Grabbed Girls?”

  He nods.

  I should have guessed. Chris said their sister died. Sera and Josh hinted about what happened. Why didn’t I figure it out?

  “And your dad was the one who investigated her disappearance?”

  “No….Emily was the last girl to disappear. By then the FBI had already taken over. That’s when Dad started drinking, and Mom…she might as well have died too.”

  “Coop, I’m so sorry.” I put my hand on his shoulder.

  His head snaps around to look at me. “Why did you draw her? Why are her eyes gone? This isn’t funny, Haley.”

  “I…I…” I don’t know what to say and am saved by a loud knock on the front door.

  Now what? I hear my parents get out of bed, then heavy footsteps down the stairs. I go to my door and crack it a few inches. I hear an unfamiliar female voice speaking.

  “…reported seeing a figure breaking into an upstairs window.”

  “The girls!” my mom shouts, and I turn quickly and motion for Coop to get in the closet. I’ve done it just in time as Mom runs up the stairs and stops in my doorway. Dad rushes past her to check on Shannon. Two police officers are right behind them.

  “What’s going on?” I ask.

  She hugs me close. “Did anyone break into your room?” she asks.

  “I think I would have noticed,” I say. “I haven’t even fallen asleep yet.”

  She holds me at arm’s length. “What are you doing up?” she asks.

  “Drawing,” I lie.

  She peers past me into my room. “Haley, that’s horrible. No wonder you can’t sleep.”

  Dad returns from Shannon’s room. “There’s no one here. Which neighbor said they saw what, exactly?”

  The cop with Mom looks at her notebook. “A Mr. Grant. He reported someone in your yard, staring at the house, then trying windows to see if they were locked.”

  “I thought we were supposed to be safer than in Chicago,” Shannon says, appearing in her doorway. She’s wearing a bathrobe, and her hair is sticking up.

  “Well, we’re all safe now. Thank you for checking on us,” Dad tells the officers, walking downstairs with them.

  Mom kisses me on the head. “Haley, go to sleep.”

  “I will,” I say, and close the door.

  Coop barely waits for it to snap shut before he’s across the room and at the window.

  “Wait,” I whisper as loud as I dare.

  “Got to go now,” he tells me. “Nosy Mr. Grant will be watching the cops talk to your dad. I don’t want to get caught. But we need to talk about Emily.”

  “Yes, okay, go…and, Coop?” He stops and looks at me. “Don’t do this again.”

  He nods and grabs on to the tree, shinnying down to the ground. A flashlight appears around the corner. The cops are searching the yard. Coop is already in the trees across the yard by the time they get under my room. They shine the light at the tree and up to my window, and I wave to them before shutting and locking it again.

  I don’t know what is creepier: Coop showing up uninvited at one a.m. or the fact that I drew a giant picture of his long-lost sister on my wall. Or the picture itself. I sigh, turn off my light, and head into the hallway. Shannon’s door is open a crack. I knock softly before pushing it open all the way.

  “Shannon?”

  “Yeah, what?” she asks. She’s back in bed, probably already half asleep.

  “I was wondering if maybe…” I pause, feeling like an idiot.

  She turns and pulls back the covers. “Are you coming or not?” she asks.

  I scurry across the room and slide into bed with her. “Thanks, Shannon.”

  “Just don’t steal the blanket,” she tells me. In minutes she’s snoring softly.

  Not surprisingly, it takes me much longer to fall asleep.

  WE TRY HARDER.

  We show ourselves to the boy.

  How we were and how we are.

  Our smiles and our screams.

  Our lives and our deaths.

  He begs for us to stop.

  He sees us but cannot help us.

  We shout what we need.

  He hears us in whispers.

  We beg him. Plead with him. Bargain.

  We show him the best of us.

  We show him our worst.

  We show him what we need.

  We do not know if it gets through to him.

  But we will keep trying.

  Until he understands.

  His torment does not bring us relief.

  But he must suffer so we may rest.

  WHEN I WAKE up Shannon’s already gone, probably for her early-morning run. I head first to the bathroom, go to my room to
change, then make my way downstairs. Breakfast is cereal, and I’m looking forward to an ordinary, boring day, when there’s a knock at the door.

  Sera is standing there.

  “Hi!” I say, a little too excited. “I thought you guys decided you were done with me.”

  “I didn’t decide anything,” Sera tells me. “I was kind of in shock, I guess.” She motions over her shoulder. “Josh is waiting in the car. Nothing personal.”

  “Do you want to come in?” I ask.

  “No…we’ve actually come to get you. I thought we could do some research. You know, on the girl that lived here and all the girls that went missing.”

  I feel a rush of relief that they’re willing to help me. “Let me grab my laptop.”

  Sera shakes her head. “The town website hasn’t been updated in years. All you’ll find online is the usual sensational crap. You know, all that ‘Four blond white girls go missing in small-town America, what is our country coming to’ nonsense. We need to go to the library. It’s all on microfiche.”

  “Give me five minutes to get ready,” I tell her. I don’t know what microfiche is, but I am happy to get out of my house. And maybe find some answers.

  * * *

  The town library is small and stinks of old books, but it’s also weirdly cozy. It’s well lit, and there are worn leather chairs and couches near the large windows. When Sera tells the librarian what we want, she leads us through the stacks and down a set of stairs. The archive is in the basement, and Josh complains about the lighting but otherwise is silent. The librarian is really nice and pulls the microfiche for the dates we want. She tells us that every once in a while someone shows up, asking about the disappearances…sometimes reporters, but mostly people interested in unsolved mysteries.

  Sera shows me how to work the giant machine and we scan article after article. Well, Sera and I do. Josh mostly plays on his phone.

  “Got something!” Sera says. I look at the article on her machine, and the headline reads, RUNAWAY MAY BE ABDUCTION. It’s dated five years ago this June.

  “So that was Kaitlyn,” I say. It’s clearly a school picture. She does look a lot like the girl I drew—same blond hair, same big eyes—but her hair is stick straight. Also, her smile is a bit crooked, making her look mischievous. But it’s her jewelry that makes me catch my breath.

  She’s wearing the necklace with the winged sneaker pendant.

  “Holy shit, guys. That necklace was in my basement,” I tell them.

  “That’s fantastic!” Sera says, while Josh tries his best to ignore me. “He’s still freaked out,” she whispers.

  “I’m right here, and yes I am, and no I’m not ashamed about it.” He gets up. “Look, I’m going for a coffee. Coffee?” he asks.

  I understand Josh’s reluctance to help us. If it weren’t my house and my haunting, I might run the other way too.

  “I’ll take a vanilla latte, extra sugar,” Sera tells him.

  “You think I don’t know what kind of coffee you drink?” he asks. “What kind of a best friend slash cousin do you take me for?” He stands before her, holding out his hand. I think he’s waiting for a low five, but instead Sera reaches into her bag and pulls out a credit card, slapping it into his palm.

  “You’re a moocher slash pain,” she says with a laugh.

  He makes an air kiss in her direction. “Haley, what do you want?”

  I shake my head. “I’m good.” I don’t have money to burn.

  “So can we get a copy of this?” I ask Sera after Josh leaves.

  “The printer’s been broken for a while. Take a pic on your phone.”

  I do; then I take my sketchbook out of my bag and decide to draw Kaitlyn as well. It takes me a while to get every detail, but I want to keep the girls straight in my head. They deserve that much.

  Each article we find is light on specifics, and the journalist seems more interested in catchy headlines than giving real facts. I sketch a picture of each girl: Kaitlyn Pratt, Brandy Franz, Emily Cooper, and a girl named Gigi. There’s an article on her, but no last name and no picture, both withheld at the request of the family. The headlines go from LOCAL GIRL GOES MISSING to ANOTHER GLADWELL GIRL GRABBED.

  “How could there be no trace? No clues?” I ask.

  “Well, maybe there’s something the police didn’t release to the press,” Josh says. He’s long since returned with their coffee and has been sitting silently, trying—and failing—not to get involved.

  “Yeah,” Sera jumps in. “Like stuff they didn’t want the public to know so they could have an edge in their investigation.”

  “And what about the time frame?” I ask. “Isn’t it strange that four girls go missing in one summer, and then nothing?”

  “It means the person who grabbed them moved,” Sera says.

  “Or went to jail,” Josh adds.

  “Or died.”

  “How do you guys know this stuff?” I ask.

  They look at each other and say at the same time, “Serial Killer Files.”

  I stare at them blankly.

  “It’s a docudrama that goes through cases of convicted serial killers. Josh and I never miss an episode.” Sera shrugs. “I know it’s morbid.”

  “Not nearly as morbid as your bag of crap to contact the dead,” Josh tells her.

  “What we really need is to get our hands on the police files,” Sera says. “See what the papers didn’t know, see who their suspects were.”

  “Great,” Josh says. “How are we going to manage that? This case is ancient, and we’re not exactly buddy-buddy with the local police force.”

  “I think I know a way,” I say, thinking out loud. “But you’re not going to like it.”

  “If it doesn’t involve breaking into a police station, getting arrested, and ruining my life, I’ll like it just fine,” Josh tells me.

  I sigh. “So how much do you guys actually hate Coop?”

  SERA GIVES ME Coop’s number and I text him and ask if I can come over. When he doesn’t immediately respond, Sera gets antsy.

  “We can just go,” she says. “I know the code to open the garage door. And they don’t lock the door from the garage to the house.”

  “That is a terrible idea,” Josh says.

  “Why? Mr. Cooper shouldn’t even have those files. And if anyone comes home, we can run over to Haley’s place and hide out.”

  “Yeah, I agree with Josh.” I don’t want to just show up at Coop’s house, even though he has no problem just showing up at mine. Also, what if we get caught? What if it’s by his dad? I doubt a used-to-be-cop would be super understanding about us breaking and entering. Or even just entering, if Sera’s right about the code.

  “But we’re so close…,” Sera pleads.

  “Honey, the files aren’t going anywhere,” Josh assures her. “And neither are the”—he pauses and then spits out—“ghosts.”

  “That’s the problem,” I mumble.

  “Look, I’m absolutely starving. Let’s get some lunch and wait to see if Coop responds.”

  “At Pizza Pizzazz?” Sera asks, perking up. “You just want to see Ricky….”

  “Who is Ricky?” I ask.

  “This gorgeous senior that Josh has a crush on.”

  “He’s just fun to flirt with,” Josh explains, though his face reddens. “And yes, he’s older and hot.”

  “And gives us free wings,” Sera adds.

  “I don’t think I can afford to split a pizza with you, even a cheap one,” I admit, embarrassed. “There should be food at my place….”

  “But Ricky isn’t at your place,” Josh points out. “And you really should experience Pizza Pizzazz. Tell you what, my treat.”

  “You don’t have any money either,” Sera says.

  “No, but you do. And thanks for calli
ng me out in front of our new friend.” He turns to me. “Sera gets an allowance, but I don’t. She basically owns my ass.” He smiles, flashing his dimples.

  “You wouldn’t have it any other way,” she tells him.

  Their back-and-forth makes me miss my friends. I would never feel bad if I had to borrow a few bucks from one of them. But people I’ve known all of a few days? “No, really, you don’t have to pay for me.”

  “Oh, come on.” Sera grabs my hand and pulls me through the library. “Don’t be such a downer. We’ve contacted the dead together. We’re practically family.”

  * * *

  Pizza Pizzazz is just a few blocks away. We bypass the entrance and head down the alley, where Josh says Ricky takes his smoke breaks. Sure enough, there’s a tall, older boy puffing away. He’s dark and muscular, and I can see why Josh likes him.

  “Hello, handsome.” Josh grins and kisses Ricky on the cheek. “I thought you were quitting.”

  Ricky shrugs. “Fresh air is overrated.” He winks at Josh, kisses Sera hello, then smiles at me.

  “You’re new.”

  Sera introduces me. “This is Haley from Chicago.”

  “Well, nice to meet you, Haley from Chicago. I’ve got a booth open in my section. The hostess is going to kill me for seating you, but she’s a nasty bitch, so I really don’t care.”

  He leads us through the back of the restaurant to a cozy booth, the red vinyl seats cracked with age. He ducks away, and when he returns it’s with three colas and a basket of chicken wings.

  “You know the way to my heart,” Josh tells him.

  “Are you guys dating?” I ask Josh after we order our pizza and Ricky heads off.

  He shakes his head. “No, we’re on the football team together. I’m the kicker,” he explains.

  “But they did totally make out once,” Sera says, dipping a wing in a vat of blue cheese dressing.

  “It was at an away game in Kenosha. Very romantic. Vodka was involved.”

  “Josh was all ready to be a one-man man.” She’s really scarfing the chicken wings now, and has a red circle of hot sauce around her mouth.